Mirror Mirror

I am thinking of suing Marks and Spencer over the mirrors and unflattering lighting they have in their changing rooms..... which give an almost 360 degree view (or should that be shock)..........I would advise anyone entering these changing rooms to first visit the hair and beauty salon for a full-makeover and spray tan etc and to wear shapely underwear .........if not be prepared to emerge feeling inadequate along with several f words ie fat, frumpy and fed-up. I think M&S should issue a warning to unsuspecting customers or at least offer free counselling sessions afterwards!!

Strictly Bitchin'

Having caught up with all the episodes of the latest 'Strictly Come Dancing' series -I have to say that I think all the critism of the lovely Aleesha Dixon is extremely unfair.....Having watched her performance I think she marked fairly and accurately.

I also think she had a unique perspective on how it feels to be one of the celebs involved. I always thought Arlene Philips was far too harsh on the contestants as they are not professional dancers after all.

As ever the costumes are visually stunning and the dancing is always entertaining - sometimes because it is spectacular and sometimes because it is not. I would love to have the team that transform the performers from mere mortals into goddesses at my daily disposal. The way they do the hair and make-up deserves its own programme!

Love Happens

I am delighted to report that the gorgeous Jennifer Anniston has been taking note of my advice and the title of her latest film is 'Love Happens'. According to one of the gossip mags she is taking time out to find Mr Right and her friends are finding suitable (non-celeb) men for her. If you wish to apply call her on ......Now about that fee Jen......

The Break-up

Just been watching the film 'The Break-up' with the gorgeous Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughan. It seems to me a very painful irony that she made this film after the much publicised break-up between her and Brad Pitt.

The films she made previously were 'Rumour Has it' and 'Derailed' which she made whilst her marriage was rumoured to have been derailed by Angelina Jolie whilst filming Mr & Mrs Smith - who obviously had her eye on them becoming Mr& Mrs Pitt.

She seems to have mirrored her life in film titles pre-split from Brad she made the following films Shes the one, Picture Perfect, Object of my affections, Friends with money and The Good Girl - all of which describe her life at that point really well.

If I were Jennifer's casting agent -(I am available Jen for a very reasonable fee)
- I would advise her to choose the title of her next film very carefully rather than opting for 'Hes just not into you' (the title of her latest film). I would suggest she opts for a title like 'Finding Mr Right' or 'The Perfect Guy' or even 'My Ex realises he was an idiot leaving me for a vampire and wants me back'.

This is Mrs Kate - hopeless romantic/matchmaker and righter of wrongs reporting.

Boozy BBQ and loads of pussy (cats of course!!)

Last week saw us heading our way south over the hills (Well the Cat and Fiddle) to a far away land where Mr & Mrs Emma were hosting one of their legendary BBQ's.

Upon arrival we were immediately plied with wine and lots of delicious food and the wonderful company of Tina and Mrs Tina who has the dirtiest laugh ever and a lovely fun personality. Mrs T is a big cat lover (she has 4 of her own - all with exotic names like Persephone) and she took to Emmas cat immediately giving him lots of cuddles and slipping him tit-bits of food (the cat not Mr Emma!)

After several hours of laughter and wining and dining in the sunshine we were persuaded to stay over - but Mrs T in a Mrs Slocum moment said she couldn't possibly stay as she had to get home to see to her puss-cats.
Here is a video of what they got up to while she was away..........

Prize -Giving

Yesterdays competition is now closed due to lack of interest.
The PMT monster has eaten all the chocolate (a whole bar of Fruit and nut!)
Mr K has eaten all the cheese as it gives him 'fabulous flying dreams' as opposed to nightmares.
The Red Bull is still available until Midnight - After which time it will self-destruct.

Tonights music is a recent JJ release It has quite a hypnotic R&B vibe In the style of Britney Spears/ Pussycat Dolls but better - she certainly is versatile !!

Saturday Night Boob

Despite my previous whinge about being deserted by my friends - it seems that the T-Girl population have not migrated to sunnier climes 'en masse'. We have managed quite a few outings into the bright lights of the village the highlight of which was last Saturday or was it the one before??. ...the hazy days of summer seem to merge at this point. We met up with Diana for dinner in Velvet and for once the music was spot on (for me that is - being an 80's babe) and after plying K with plenty of wine (I had volunteered to drive) we decided to migrate up to the bar area - feeling brave enough to negotiate the narrow spiral stair-case.

The atmosphere was very good in fact buzzing and after sitting down we were joined by Zara and her friend. Although the music was good it was too loud to have a decent conversation ( without loosing ones voice) so we moved on to Naps. We were welcomed by newly decorated sparkly silver walls and a very contemporary re-furbished bar area- complete with marble counters - business and profits must be good - probably due to the amount of alcohol that Emma managed to consume during Sparkle!!


After a quick drink downstairs we hit the dance floor and were delighted to see loads of our regular girls there. We were joined by Zara and her friend George who was a very good dancer but I had a very awkward moment whilst trying to get to the ladies as I turned Zara moved backwards and stood on my foot knocking me off balance and I grabbed her shoulders to steady myself - except it wasnt her shoulder I grabbed - lets say I made an unintentional boob!! We both apologised but I was so embarrased - that I scurried off to the ladies as fast as I could to try and regain my composure - but it was all forgotten when I was greeted by a stunning 6 foot tall (real - I think but its hard to tell sometimes- after all I was in the twilight zone) girl who was on her mobile phone trying to get rid of her ex who was calling her. We had a quick conversation along the lines of why cant he just leave me alone.....My advice to her was simply not to answer any of his calls and just ignore him - Simple - but she was quite impressed by this obvious advice and thanked me as she went along her merry way.

We had a really good night all in all I think we stayed out until 3ish can't quite remember after all the sugar rush from drinking cola all night. I do remember K getting a bit frisky after about her 5th glass of wine (or was that bottle?!!) So it was definitely time to call it a night to remember.

The music video below features Me, K and Di in Velvet bar and later bouncing on the hotel bed at 3.50. Can you guess which one is which or should that be who is who? Answers on a Postcard to Loney tunes C/O The Crazy Disco Diva A prize involving chocolate or cheese may or may not be involved. A star prize of Red Bull is available for reading this far to the first reader to post a comment.

Kisses from Mrs K